What the hell!

It seems I got at least ONE thing right. ;) Her.
But, it seems I also went to Singapore, I wrote some kick ass code, and now I am willing to leave. In fact, I almost hate this environment, but I love the code

Busy but bored

Mental notes:
-When you feel tired you stop stop talking too much, so no one will want to punch you in the face.
-Try to write quite a good piece of code for the Robo Team. You need to get your thesis done.
-Find a girfriend . The previous one was a poor substitute of a real one.
-Decide whether or not you wanna go to Singapore
-Remember to post more often to your blog...

PS. I need to get some sleep and some you now what....

Detox

I started smoking almost a year ago... I never smoke when I am home , and I never get the feeling that "I need a cigarette ". I smoke because it relaxes me, and earns me a few stress-free moments... I know that this sounds ridiculous but I actually feel that the stress is going to kill me sooner than smoking will! Besides, I do not smoke THAT much, or THAT often. As a last resort (in case all else fails) I have promised myself to stop smoking by the age of 30.. That gives me quite a lot of time to slowly kill myself :p
Smoking is a bad habit I intentionally acquired in order to compensate for hundreds and hundreds of other personal feats: I am an obsessive, compulsive distorted person! The worst thing to obsess about, is not some crazy action like lining up the pens or something like that, Its to obsess about something you feel... Or someone you feel a lot of things for... Or even for someone you THINK you feel a lot of thing things.... Anyway you know where I`m getting at...
2 months detox... Still a lot of way to go... and even now that I know its stupid to feel that way, I can`t help it! I miss someone who never was never close to my soul to begin with.... I know I should find something else to keep my mind occupied. But I refuse. It only lasts for a few minutes anyway...

Deadlines

I am pretty sure that everone at some point in their lives had to turn in some kind of work, and almost always there is a deadline as to when this has to happen. I am a technical university student, which means that deadlines are part of my life very very often... Much more often than the usaual college kids that enjoy their lives....
You think I am whining? I finished all the required classes for my degree six months early when on average everybody else is 2 years behind schedule. Of course I am not alone. But I am not one from the pile when it comes to hard work. I consider myself to be one of the lucky few who enjoy what they study, but I also think I deserve (as much as everyone else) to be credited for my hard work.
Amongst all these projects and deadlines, I occasionally stumble upon assignments that cause me to loose some sleep, because I tend to overthink them constantly, even (or especially) when I am falling asleep. There are assignments, which I want to be more than good, more than perfect. I want to be unique! I try to accomplish what no other student has accomplished before: I try to do some kind of original work! Of course for a man with some ambition, this is good right? Its good to try and be the best amongst your league right? WRONG....
When this happens I usually ignore the fact that I have a deadline for what I do, and I take my time to do what I think will be some kind of major or minor breakthrough! I may be right (it has happened) but its not actually making me more focused, since my likings tell me to ignore the problem as an assignment and deal with it as research! I usually end up in over my head drowning with the deadline dawning upon me... I aim high and occationally fail very low...
I consider this to be one of the best attributes, since I often have quite good ideas (which may or may not be as good as I think but thats not the point) and I try to explore them as much as possible.

Why?

Why not? After all, everybody these days seems to NEED to read a blog to inform oneself... I do not, and I feel guilty for it! I have an account on all major websites, but I seem to get left behind on the "news related" side of the web... I rarely check any sites apart from my webmails, and I have even memorized the direct link to the login pages to avoid viewing (and thus drifting off) the front pages....
Will it last? Probably not.. Will I care? Highly unlikely... Do I need to do it? I feel like it!
Even after having written a few hundred words I can already feel the difference! :P
I really hope that I gain something from this. I am aiming at making my brain a little bit less of a inflated balloon, having to think about and consider everything... I`ve already broken every statistic, having lost most of my temper , patience and hair even before graduating from university, I hope that this keeps me sane for a little longer and keep me from going mental and becoming dangerous to some creature! :)
PS. March is here... I feel like I was snoozing for the past 59 days (Feb is only 28 days long..) and 59 is 16% percent of a year!